Why Mera College is Mahaan?

Yesterday, I got to visit another college (thanks to a friend) which was more a typical kind of college. But getting an entry was not the easy part. We assembled at the back door like a Counter Strike team waiting for Sergeant's order "All Clear, Let's Go Boys". After a few minutes of hiding and peeping, guards went for Guthka and Bidi and the way was clear. Upon entering, fierce arrows was what took our attention, Woah!! This college has archery. The sport about which I had only read in my General Knowledge Book or seen on Doordarshan while changing the channel. But still, this college had to do a lot to impress. We then headed straight to the Canteen which was equivalent to the size of our 2 classrooms. No matter how bad your day was or you got a proposal, food is like that darling who's always there for you like Severus Snape. If the canteen was this large, the prices had to be too high. But opposite to our surprise, the costliest item on the menu was Shahi Paneer and that too at Rs. 25. Okay, if it's that cheap then the quality will suck for sure. But none of us was talking to each other while having food. You can assume the quality of food when you are not bothered with how nastily the person next to you is eating. After having the silent lunch for 20 minutes followed by some burps, we decided to have a round of the campus. And this was when we realised, we had done a hell of a serious mistake. All around the campus, there were blushing faces of gorgeous ladies. Some busy in laughing and giggling while others were just playing around in the long yards of campus. I can't tell how badly I wanted to do SRK's open arm impression with 'Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Mai Kya Karun' in the middle of the campus. But was resisted by my sour odour underarms. With the clock ticking with pace, we decided to leave before one of us might change his mind and decides to take T.C. from our college.
Upon leaving, my inner selves were having a fight like that of Batman. I was not able to figure out what my dear college missed. I mean, it only has a tall erect building in the name of campus. But that had to do something with Vastu Shastra or our neck movements. Consider this, when you look here and there to look at the large fields, your neck might have a chance to get a strain which my college people had in mind while getting the building done. And I must admit that my college canteen is awful but that might have been so that we can value Mummy ke Haath ka Khana. This step was done to cultivate healthy cultural values just like Pahlaj Nihalani does. And our college doesn't have any on campus sport, but that would have been so that we can focus purely on our studies and get good placements. On reaching JLN metro station and taking the departure from others, I was overwhelmed by how much sacrifices our college was making. How much cussing it has been getting from us for being a Mother India. I was feeling privileged now for taking admission in such a holy place and was thanking all the new and old Gods.

P.S. I am terrible with titles (As I have confessed in front of my crush), so I am open to Suggestions.